Some say that hope kills action. Therefore, hope is for fools because only fools wait around for things to come to them. Yet, the word hope carries much energy and, at some point in time, most among us have experienced hope. I daresay that we all, usually as we climb out of a point of despair, have reached out for hope. Either we, as a child, or a child we know, has experienced the hope for a red bike, a train set, a Barbie doll, etc., under the Christmas tree. And we have all experienced the hope of winning the lottery. But let’s talk about what we all hope for at some point in our lives … the hope to love and be loved.
When we reach out hoping for love, it is because we hope that it will make us feel better about ourselves. If we close our eyes and imagine ourselves with a loving partner, we can hear our body breathe a sigh of relief. A release of tension. A feeling that, if we are loved by someone else, it must mean we are worthy. For some of us, myself included, our relationships were also the opportunity to pour our love into someone else. So, is hope for fools?
Well, for me while there’s life there’s hope. That’s because when we look around at our world, we can choose to see only hope. When we meet someone on the street and they smile, they’re hoping to be accepted (i.e., loved at a certain level). When we hear of a new restaurant or boutique opening up, they’re looking to be accepted (i.e., loved at a certain level). When a child cries, s/he is hoping to be comforted (i.e., loved at a very high level).
As we go through our life, we are faced with myriads of difficulties and challenges. Some call them opportunities. One of the most difficult “opportunities” happens when a relationship ends. What follows, at the least for the one being let go, is a series of days, weeks, months, and sometimes even years, of despair. Dark days when it seems that the world has ended and there is … well, no hope to ever be loved again. But, at some point in time, we reach for hope. The hope that things will get better. The hope that we will be loved again. The hope that we are worthy of being loved. The hope that time heals all wounds. And when hope turns to knowing, then we’ve reached the end of the dark tunnel and we take action.
Can you have, and therefore lose, hope? After all, it is not a tangible thing that we can wrap around us to ward off the cold of a broken heart. I would argue that, much like sadness or happiness, hope is something we ourselves generate. It is the transformation of energy into thought. Because it is generated by you, you cannot “lose” it, but you can create it. It is simply the choice of a thought. Don Miguel Ruiz expressed it best perhaps when he stated that: “Suffering is a choice.” Is suffering the opposite of hope? I surmise that it is. Therefore, when you are suffering, generate thoughts of hope.
Easier said than done? Perhaps not. Why do we “lose” hope? Well, one way to lose hope is to lose your perspective. The end of a relationship sometimes may feel like the end of your life, but it rarely is. How long you choose to stay in suffering, will depend on how long it takes for you to choose hope. Look around you and see the beauty that surrounds you. How many friends have pulled for you during this time? Has the sun stopped rising in the morning? Is the moon no longer rising at night and casting lovely shadows upon our world? Do the seasons now fail to come and go? Is the Earth no longer spinning upon its axis and we’re no longer safe as we hurdle through space at incredible speeds?
Yeah, I know … blah, blah, blah … banalities which don’t do anything to end the suffering you are experiencing. But what if you stopped focusing on the end of the relationship and focused on the world around you? What if you stopped feeling unworthy and instead realized that your flaws can be your strengths? What if you realized that suffering is an option and instead chose joy? I know for my part that whenever one of my relationships ended, I went through a period of suffering until it dawned on me that I was wasting my time and energy missing someone that no longer cared about me! What was the point? She had moved on with her life and regardless of how much love I had poured into the relationship, I no longer existed, particularly if she was with someone else. Ouch, yeah, I know that hurts. So I refocused on the world around me. I started hoping, and then knowing, that my next relationship would be that much better and trusted God, God-consciousness, Source, etc. (it doesn’t matter how we refer to the Force that created this Universe) to have my back. And so I took action. I would smile for no reason. I would walk with confidence. I would say “hello” to people who crossed my path, some of whom would say it back and some of whom didn’t and I didn’t care for I wasn’t doing it for them … I was doing it for me. I would even sing at odd times and not care what others thought. I would breathe in the pure air that the Pacific Ocean brought to me (yes, I am lucky enough to live next to the ocean and that certainly helped me to get “hope”). And guess what? In no time, out of nowhere, a new relationship would come into my life.
Let’s put it this way, emotions are energies in motion. So, suffering has an energy signature as does hope. Other people around you will sense, mostly subconsciously, whatever energy you are emanating. Actually, it’s usually displayed on your face, particularly your eyes, and the way you walk and stand. Someone who is attracted to your suffering signature is also suffering and unlikely to be a wise choice for your next relationship. Similarly, someone who is attracted to your signature of hope is also in a state of hope and would be a wiser choice. Someone who emits a signature of knowing and of self-love would probably be the best choice. But s/he will not be attracted by an opposite energy signature.
Keep faith in your life. Know and feel that a power greater than any of us and that is all love and loving, cares for you and watches over you. Be patient with and kind to yourself. Stay grounded when the unexpected occurs. Remember the times you were happy and focus on the goodness around you. Pray or meditate (really one and the same), and have faith that you will always receive the love and support you need if you let go and allow it. The hardest thing to do is to let go. Let go!!!
As always, in love, Jean-Pierre
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