We enter into relationships to feel safe. To do so, we must be understood. As the relationship matures, often our partner becomes our confident in our sorrows. We share what bothers us the most because we trust that s/he will understand, while we smile on the outside at the rest of the world lest they laugh at our sorrows. Sometimes, our partner takes this as a sign we no longer love them. Most often, that is not the case. Rather, we love them more because we trust them to understand our sorrows. Understand that, sometimes when this world seems too much to bear, we need to share our fears and we long for our partner to tell us that everything will be alright because we are loved. It is a sign of trust that we share our deepest sorrows and fears. This is particularly true if it is a man who shares because he trusts that you will not betray what he perceives to be weakness. Let him see his strength and courage he had to be vulnerable because he loves you.
Oh, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person:
having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words,
but pour them all out, as they are, chaff and grain together,
knowing that a faithful hand will take and sift them,
keep what is worth keeping,
and then, with the breath of kindness,
blow the rest away.
~ George Eliot, 1819 – 1880 ~
I want to thank fellow blogger Otrazhenie for giving me the idea for this post and providing Mr. Eliot’s poem. Her posts can be found by clicking on this link.
As always in love, Jean-Pierre
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